Don't Give Yourself Away

One of the songs that I resonated with growing up was one of U2's most famous tracks, With Or Without You. This timeless classic, along with Foreigner's I Want To Know What Love Is, We Are The World, Cyndi Lauper's Time After Time, and a few others spoke to my heart and my soul growing up as a child and into my teenage years. My higher self knew the reason why I gravitated to each of these. The meaning behind U2's With Or Without You was not revealed to me in my physical realm until the past several weeks.

Before I mention how this song spoke to me, take a quick look at a portion of the song's lyrics below:

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

From as early as I can remember, I always loved to help people. In fact, I still do. I loved to make people smile. I still do. I love to make people feel good. I still do. I love when I can remind people of how special they are. I still do. I love to remind people of their value. In order to fully affirm reminding people of their value, I first had to be able to do that for myself.

For most of my life, I was operating under the old paradigm. My subconscious beliefs and mindsets, passed down from generation to generation, were running my day-to-day existence. I let people tell me what to do. I was a "people-pleaser," afraid of authority and power. I suppressed my emotions, feelings, and vulnerability. And yes, for all intensive purposes, I shut down my internal guidance system, while also believing that "there was something wrong with me" and that I was not good enough.

I wanted to be a sportscaster growing up, the next Chris Berman. Part of me even wanted to either work for the WWE or take my popular wrestling radio show, Monday Night Mayhem to Sirius XM Radio. How did that pan out? Well, I worked in collections for 13 years, experienced various perceived illusions and hardships, and was stripped "spiritually naked" not once, but twice. It could have looked like I lost everything. Depending your perspective of things, you may be right. I choose to take a look at things now from the perspective of my higher self.

Now here's the thing: I could easily go victim-consciousness mode and blame myself, blame my family, blame my college professors, and pretty much blame life and everything in it if I truly wanted to. I could. Looking back now, that would not make any sense to me at all. Everything happened exactly as it should, getting me to this next wave of the awakening.

I had to ask myself a series of tough questions, including "Why were things not working out for me?" I knew, in spiritual truth, that the Universe is always working with us, not against us, that all happens in perfect divine order, and that there are no mistakes. But my ego demanded not only one answer, but many answers. I would receive those answers through a unique form, when I was introduced to the work of Esther Hicks and Abraham.

Around that same time, I remember telling one of my friends a few months ago that it felt like "everything in my life was already here": I had met the woman I was to spend the rest of my life with. My son was already born. I was living in California. My book, My Empowering Miracle, was already published. I was speaking, teaching, and traveling around the world. The children's wellness center for terminally-ill children that my grandmother provided a vision for me was already open in San Diego. Wealth and abundance on every level imaginable were feeling as if they were already here. With this being said, part of me was asking God what was missing.

There was nothing "missing" in me. I was already perfect, whole, healthy, and complete just the way that I am. What I simply had to go was raise my vibration. Raise my energy levels. That I would be attracting everything that was meant to happen on my path. All I needed to do was love myself. Even more. Do the things that brought me happiness and joy. Fill my cup up first before anyone else's. This is where some of the powerful learning and some of the most amazing shifts in my life began to translate into my Earthly experience.

I had to first assess what I had created subconsciously. I had to take responsibility, ownership, and accountability for what I did. I had to forgive myself. I had to forgive every person whom I felt brought me perceived pain. I had to let go. Of every suppressed feeling of fear, guilt, shame, judgment, and all other lower-level vibrations that were stored in my cellular memory. Basically, I had to forgive and let go of the first 34+ years of my life and send it away with love. I CHOSE to do this. It was the only way to move forward and co-create the life that I was meant to have, the life of my dreams, a Spirit-driven life.

I can now look back and say certain things had to happen to get to this point. I had to learn important life lessons. When I opened up my publicity company, Empowered by John, in the summer of 2014, I remember trying to plan how I could leave collections and run the business full-time. I told myself, more or less, the following: "Here's how much I am going to charge. Here's the clients that I am going to work with. And here's how it's all going to look/unfold." Part of that is true. The last part, not so much. That's in God's hands. But there would be a time that I would be able to charge what I felt I was worth. And there would come a time where I would say "these are the types of clients that I am want to work with." That time...is now.

I remember a friend of mine asked me a question last week, asking me: "John, how much do you feel you are worth?" My head tilted sideways. I was ready to answer that, instead of dodging that question, as I had did so many times prior when the lovable topic of money was brought up by someone else. This Earth Angel told me: "John: You are priceless. You cannot even put a price tag on your value, on your worth."

I was beginning to realize over these past several weeks leading into this divinely-orchestrated conversation that someone may wish to work with you for who you know. There is truth to that. Someone will may also want to work with you based on what you know. There is also truth to that as well. But the thing that was beginning to make the most sense for me was that someone will want to work with you because of your ENERGY and your CREATIVITY. And I was now ready to place that belief into my reality. That, along with the belief that was shown to me by another dear friend and Earth Angel that I was worthy of having unconditional love in ALL of my relationships.

Leading into the 11.11 energy portal, quite possibly the biggest shift on our planet to date, and leading into the biggest Supermoon in nearly 70 years, I am ascending at a rapid rate. My entire life is changing with each present moment.

I am no longer tolerating abuse, because I no longer wish to abuse myself. I respect the time, value, and boundaries of others, because I am honoring the same for myself. I am loving myself first. And as the result, serving others is becoming more fun, something that is bringing me happiness and joy, not a "chore," as I saw it for decades.

I have begun to take my life back, and it feels very good. I let go and given the reigns fully to God, Spirit, my angels, and to Babcia, trusting in myself and my divine guidance, knowing that I am choosing the timeline of my highest self and for my highest and greatest good. I know that I have some work to do, that a few more present moments and shifts may be necessary for me to get to where I'd like to truly be, but I rest comfortably knowing that I am exactly where I need to be right now. That I am making tremendous progress. That I am moving in the right direction. And that's what counts the most. Not where I was. Not even where I am. But where I am going. California really is here in this present moment.

The advice that I can give to my fellow Earth Angels, empaths, and empowered souls is this: Do not give yourself away. Do not let those lyrics from U2's With Or Without You be the voice in your head, the one that projects fear, guilt, judgment, and shame all throughout your Earthly vessel.

Honor yourself. Honor your energy. Honor your worth. Most importantly, honor your love. You are worth more than you realize. You were put here for a purpose. Do you honestly think that you were put here to only work a desk job for a living, raise a family, pay your taxes, and die? In the words of my dear teacher and mentor, Wayne Dyer, "Don't Die With Your Music Still in You."

It took me several years for things to be revealed. What seemed like lifetimes of soul growth. But it was all worth it. At the age of 35, I am starting to embark on an excellent adventure. My dharma is just beginning.

So if you feel that you are lost, alone, or trapped, if you feel like there's no way out of your current "life situation," that things feel, look, and seem hopeless, do not give up. You are divinely supported more than you realize. God and Spirit are co-creating the perfectly-tailored plan for you, one that will allow yourself to be the you that you were born to be. Listening, following your guidance, and taking action steps will be required, but if you trust, if you believe, if you plant an inner knowing in your heart and your soul, those dreams will become a reality.

Despite what your five senses may want you to believe or what the opinions of others may be, do not sell yourself short. Do not settle. The time for "playing small" is done. Your soul will no longer allow that.

In spite of several illusions that may have seemed very real at times, I followed the path of my soul. I let my heart lead the way. I chose to surrender my life last summer after hearing the diagnosis of perceived testicular cancer. I made the bold decision to leave my full-time collections job without a "safety net." On the surface, I may have had everything taken away from me, but in truth, the old had to die, so that the new could be born. My new life. Being built with a healthy and strong foundation of faith. Being built one brick of gratitude at a time. My new bank account at Key Bank. One deposit of love at a time.

In truth, you already are a millionaire of love. Everything you want is already in your vortex. It really all is here. Right now. The question is whether or not you wish to believe that about yourself and your life. Do you feel worthy of accepting this as the truth? The choice is up to you. The Universe will support you in whatever you decide.

Remember this: You are a child of God. You are unlimited. You are infinite. You are divine perfection. You are the Universe.

Namaste.

If you feel this infusion of love and healing helps and inspires you in any way and that I can be of further assistance to you in your own spiritual journey and awakening, please contact me via my official website to book your private spiritual guidance or healing session. It would be my honor to serve your soul. In the words of one of my greatest teachers, Ram Dass, "We're all just walking each other home."

Living My Reality. Not Pretending

It feels like it's been quite some time since I last had the inkling to come here and express myself here on My Empowering Miracle. It has been over two months since my last blog post.

I assure you that I am safe and that all is well. At the same time, it's time for me to be completely real and transparent, maybe more than I ever have before in my life.

You see: Growing up, I always loved to make people feel good, to inspire their spirit and raise their vibrations. Some things don't change. I still love to do that, in what seems like a completely different, yet similar way. But, I would place my needs and wants last. I would be the guy that wanted to make others feel loving and warm, yet deep down, I felt that I was unworthy of my own love and attention, that my own needs and wants didn't matter.

I was inspired to pen this new blog post after coming into contact with a beautiful soul named Cindy Turner, who has recently released her new book: Losing My Breath: From Loss To Transformation, in which she shares her journey after losing her 20-year-old daughter Chloe unexpectedly in an accident.

People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Depending on wherever you may be on your own path, your higher self and soul may share with you early on in the interaction why you were meant to connect with that individual or at least give you a strong impression. All is took was me reading about a dozen or less pages of the book to find this passage:

"My therapists and spiritual guides kept my healthy and whole. I valued them for helping me to deepen my experience, while staying grounded in my life and for keeping me in check, making sure I was living my reality and not pretending."

So yes, I am a creator. I love to create. At the same time, I have to come clean and confess: I have been afraid to create and afraid to write over the past two months or so. I let the illusion of what was going on in "real life" try to take my focus away from doing what I love and enjoy. That. Stops. Now.

I incarnated here to be able to express my emotions, feel my feelings, and allow myself to express my vulnerability. It may have taken nearly 34 years to get to the point last summer, where I was ready and willing to begin doing that, when I chose to undergo chemotherapy as part of my healing.

I was stripped naked spiritually and was given the opportunity by the Universe to feel my pain, to begin loving myself on the deepest of levels, and beginning to co-create heartfelt conversations and relationships for the first time in my entire life. It does not get any more raw and vulnerable that two people sharing their journeys together in that kind of setting, how they came to that particular present moment, while holding the space for one another during a time of transformation, with an inner knowing that the best is yet to come, including the realization that I was already healed in God's eyes. It would only me a matter of time before I began to see and feel what he saw when I saw born 35 years ago: that I was whole and complete just how I was.

My teacher, my mentor, my guardian angel Wayne Dyer shares with us the following, a message that is even more profound now than when I first saw it: "Would you rather be right or happy?" Acknowledging my own mistakes and learning from them, forgiving myself and others, the releasing of any expectations of any kind, learning to love myself and others unconditionally, while not seeing myself as separate from God all have been instrumental in my own healing.

So, I thought I was brought down to my knees before. I thought that one could only be spiritually stripped naked once in a lifetime. I. Was. Wrong.

I had emotions and feelings that I still bottled up, that I had not let go of. Pain from previous relationships. Trauma from past lifetimes. And yes, I was also operating on a subconscious level, through old default programming, limited behaviors, and mindsets that were not even my own, but from generations long ago.

You see, for the majority of my adult life, until just about a month ago, I was operating my life from a perspective of "What's in it for me?" vs. "How may I serve?" I was placing the majority of my energies into acquiring and chasing, never feeling a sense of completeness as I was.

I took everything for granted. People. Relationships. Money. My own love. And most importantly, my connection with God and Spirit.

I was never happy. I felt that I was never enough. I felt I had to continue to prove myself. On some level, I felt that just "being me" wasn't going to cut it. I was that blinded by my ego.

 I was shown that I had to take full and compete responsibility for my life. I had to. That was part of the healing process. By owning the fact that I had created every experience, in one way or another, would be essential to me in taking my next steps forward, maybe the most important ones on my journey.

I was being granted the chance to make amends. To do everything a different way than I did before. "To walk down a different street," as Wayne Dyer refers to. It was shown to me that I needed to take full and complete responsibility for my life.

God, Spirit, my angels, and grandmother were helping me, brick by brick, to rebuild a foundation for my new life, one that would be based on unconditional love, integrity, respect, and compassion for all of humanity, a life that would be Spirit-run, a business that would be Spirit-driven, something that my soul had wanted, but the Earthly part of me thought would never be possible.

I took on a position as a part-time After School Teacher here in the Buffalo area for the summer. Instead of placing my full focus on the happiness and joy that I was beginning to feel for the first time in my entire life, my ego was giving me reasons why this couldn't work out out. How much (or "how little") I was making. The number of hours that it was "taking away" from my publicity and social media work. I was telling the Universe that I wanted out by the end of the summer, that I "didn't see myself there" before the end of August. Guess what: I was given my wish. About one month ago, I clipped the curb leaving my apartment parting lot, busting my tire. Thankfully, I was OK. But, I had to call into work. The next day, I received a phone call saying that it wasn't working out. For the first time in my life, I was fired from a job. Not voluntarily parted ways. But let go.

So, for close to three months, there was various experiences, blessings, and life lessons that were happening. That brought me to the point of a full surrender. Spiritually. Emotionally. Financially.

Things go have a way of working out when that happens, because you fully acknowledge that what you are facing is beyond your control. You give it all to God, Spirit, your angels, and your spiritual team to provide the best solutions. My friend Arron, whom I had worked with in collections for close to five years, assisted me, along with an angel named Guy, who came out of nowhere with the proper tools, in putting on the spare tire for my car. Before he Arron parted ways, he gave me a copy of the Bible. This time, I knew what was happening here. I could not scoff at this. This was God's way of showing me what to do.

I had spent so much time invested in worrying whether I was going to fail or succeed, controlling relationships, how much I was making/going to make, and being afraid of getting close to new people coming into my life, being afraid to let love in, and to receive anything that was attempting to flow my way. This. All of this. Could and would not survive in the new paradigm of my life.

So yes, my life had to crumble. That was merely what I knew. But what if, from this deconstruction, something even more beautiful could be born?

I was learning the importance of being grateful. For what I had in my life. A teacher who took her a lot of her time (for which I am eternally grateful for) showed me the significance of letting Spirit lead me to the next chapter of my life.

I have been following my inner guidance over the past two weeks, something that I am still getting used to. It actually feels really good. By doing this, several powerful shifts have happened within my life.

A friend of mine in Minnesota told me that Jai-Jagdeesh, the well-known singer, chanter, and yogi was coming to Unity of Buffalo, as part of her Revolutionary Love tour. Her chant, Et Ong Kar, had cracked me wide open to a level that I never felt, a chant that changed my life forever when I first heard it in May at the Hay House I Can Do It event in Toronto. I went to the event thinking it would be a concert. I was wrong. It was a Kundalini yoga get-together. I didn't bring a mat. The Universe was definitely bringing me out of my comfort zone. I could've run away. But I didn't. I stayed there. Picked up an extra mat. And went home for the first time in years. This was how I was going to be releasing what I was holding back. It was painful, but also energizing. It reminded me that anything is possible. That I am unlimited. That I am infinite. That I could finally release this. And that it wouldn't involve reading any more books, watching any more YouTube videos, speaking to any other gurus. It was simply a matter of feeling. Then releasing.

After the event was over with, I connected with Jai and set a powerful intention for the rest of my life, one that I know the Universe heard on that Full Moon evening, surrendering all end results and outcomes to Spirit, knowing and trusting that it would indeed turn out even more beautifully than I ever imagined.

I was guided back to go to Unity of Buffalo with members of my soul family last Wednesday for their International Day of Peace festivities, which included an evening prayer ceremony, a delicious pot luck dinner, walking the sacred labyrinth in their Peace Park, a night of theater, as well as closing the evening by signing John Lennon's Imagine. On this day, one year ago, I was here at Unity. One year after completing chemotherapy. Where I began to move forward. 365 days later, I was provided the opportunity to do the same, but this time, knowing and feeling the truth. Through the theater group that came into Unity that night, I learned that the pathway to peace was by being my authentic self. I was ready to now do that.

I had lived my life feeling that I would let people down. That I would offend someone. That by being myself, in some way, shape, or form, things wouldn't go "according to plan." But whose plan? My plan?

I have now since realized that whatever visions I have seen or felt for myself, if they are meant for the highest and greatest good of my soul, will indeed take physical form. Some already have begun to have. It is more important now for me to remain completely humble. For everyone and everything. Expecting nothing. Merely putting out energy of love wherever I go, placing my connection with God and Spirit first and letting everything else fall into place the way it's meant to happen.

I have seen and felt, just from the past several days, what you can see and feel when dropping your facade. What happens when you let love in. When you allow your heart to soften. When you let your guard down. When you surrender control. When you just. Show up. Know that whatever is presented to you that you are ready for. You can take the time to let your ego tell you that you aren't worthy. Or you can beat yourself up more. Or a combination of both. But honestly, what would that do?

Do I have all of the answers? Nope. Am I still rebuilding? Yes. And I'm not afraid to say that. I choose to acknowledge just how far that I've come vs. seeing myself as "broken," "shattered," or any other similar words. God doesn't see me as broken or shattered. So why should I? God is unlimited and infinite? So, why shouprofould I spend time believing any illusions that reflect the opposite.

I now choose to use my love, my power, along with my skills and my gifts that I was blessed with to empower humanity, not just myself. I choose to be grounded, balanced, and centered. I allow myself to give and receive. I allow myself to be happy and joyful, just for the sake of being happy and joyful. It's still a bit difficult at times for me to place myself first, especially by looking at the commitments and responsibilities that I have, but I trust that I am getting better by the day. My soul was always leading the way for me, and I strongly believe that that it is even more so now.

I am thankful for what has been shown to me over the past several months, especially the last few weeks. I simply place my faith, my trust, and my love in the hands of my grandmother, who has been watching over me since she made her transition a little over three years ago. She showed me that I would have miracles and wonders coming my way. She reaffirmed that last June. My Empowering Miracle does not have an expiration date. I have learned that My Empowering Miracle...is...me.

Sat Nam. Namaste.