Earlier this week, for the first time in my life, I picked up and held a child, as one of the little empowered souls and Earth Angels that I am blessed to watch over asked me to.
I can admit: At first, I resisted. I froze. In my tracks.
You see: Many of us on social media take the time to post the "bells and whistles" of our lives, when things are going really amazing and awesome. But honestly, how many of us out there actually allow ourselves to be vulnerable and speak their truth when we are faced with perceived challenges and obstacles. Without judgment, I've seen many empaths and lightworkers "close up" or be afraid to show that side of them, thinking it will make them look broken in some way, fearing they may lose clients, make their image or business look bad in some way, or a myriad of other things.
Guess what: You are spiritual, but you are also human too. If you are petrified of expressing your emotions, feeling your feelings, or being vulnerable, you are truly holding the space for yourself. How can you do that for others if you cannot do that for yourself?
So, I can come clean: There has been many perceived triggers, challenges, and obstacles that I have experienced over the past several weeks. I have come far enough along the path to know that this is all for a reason. The wheels aren't falling off. It's quite possibly the biggest breakthrough of my life. All of these things, as they do for each and every one of us goes back to loving ourselves. And yes, I have been struggling with that.
Through various messages I have received and various messengers that have spoken directly to my soul, there has been a shift that has happened. In order to fully allow myself to receive the love that is meant for me, in all forms here on Earth School, I have to fully love myself and let go. Not 50%. Not 75%. Not even 99%. But entirely. And for whatever reason or another, I was having difficulties with that subconsciously.
So, yes, I hesitated at first to pick up this little Earth Angel. I froze. But a few moments later, I picked up him. I looked at his face and saw such a beautiful smile. His soul was so happy and free, which I felt through his energy. The gateway to his soul said it all.
That was the Universe's way of telling me that I can now pick up my inner child, without judgment, shame, humiliation, guilt, or fear, look him in the eyes, and tell him "I love you."
I can admit: I don't have all of the answers. I honestly don't even want to ask many questions anymore. Flat out: I just want to be. I choose that. This spiritual awakening and journey that my soul chose to walk on is as difficult or as easy as we make it out to me...and I no longer choose for it to be hard or tough. I release the need to no longer push, force, or coerce, consciously or subconsciously. I now choose to love myself and let all of the other chips fall as they may.
So yes, judge if you will. Call me "Mr. Softee." Place a label or judgment on me based on years of limited thinking or subconscious beliefs that went back generations before I was born. You have every right to do that if you wish. But guess what? I believe that the more I am able to be myself, the more I love myself, and the more I trust in myself and the process, the people that are meant to stay on my path will and those that do not serve my highest and greatest good will dissolve completely. So yes, even those who irk you, upset you, or piss you off serve his/her role. They help to crack you open to the unconditional love that you are even more.
I continue to remain grateful, grounded, and humble and know that this is not the end, but in truth, a new beginning, one that my soul and all parts of my being have wanted for the longest time. Angels, Babcia, God, Universe: I am your vessel. Do with me as you choose. I am here to serve humanity as you direct me, which comes from my loving heart...one that I now choose to fill up with my own love. From this, only good is here and only good is coming.
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