As you evolve on your spiritual journey, including those who do not even realize they are on one, there are things that always "come up" in our daily lives. Whether it be an unexpected errand to take care of, trying to help out a family member or friend navigating through a cumbersome day, the unexpected snowstorm, or a combination of all the above. This coupled with incessantly checking our e-mail, surfing on social media, and other ways we "check out" of the present moment that we are experiencing.
There comes a time in your life where you've reached a crossroads of sorts, one where your soul has had "enough." You are more than enough, you have seen your glimpses of "what's to come," and you feel the energies of so much good coming into your life. But, you wonder and ask yourself, and probably God at the very same time, "Why isn't it here right now?"
You've been trying so hard. You've been keeping the faith. And it seems like so many interesting situations are coming your way all at once, almost leaving you in a spiritual fog of sorts. You aren't going to throw in the towel. You've come so far. You've surrendered. Your Spirit is 111% at peace, but your ego still wants to get you to believe what you were exposed to a lot in your everyday settings at home, school, and work, Those people were, in truth, kind and loving people. They had wonderful intentions. But at the very same time, they may have unconsciously projected their fears unto you. Many of those fears all come back to, in one way or another, the following question: "What if this doesn't work out?"
Here's the response, straight from Spirit: How can you not succeed if what you are doing is part of your soul's purpose, your dharma. How can you not believe, after all this time, that the Universe wouldn't be supporting you? Yes, your "life situation" may have had some interesting twists and turns recently, just as mine has had, but there are blessings that are happening, both in front of you and behind-the-scenes.
The invisible dragon or dragons that have been lying in the subconscious for years, if not decades, have come up to the surface for healing. In order to receive the abundance that one is meant to receive in all of its purest forms, there has to be a releasing of the previous thought process.
By having trust in the inner knowing of your purpose here, you can come face-to-face with some of your biggest fears, look them straight in the eye, and repeat with conviction the immortal words that Sarah Williams (Jennifer Connolly) said to Jareth, the Goblin King (David Bowie) in the Jim Henson cult classic Labyrinth: "You have no power over me."
I can come clean in saying this: I was scared shitless of commitment. I was petrified of power. And I led my life from a space of victim consciousness for most of my life, until recently, where even though I classified myself as a "responsible individual," that in reality, I was not wanting to own the word responsibility and everything that comes with it.
Coming clean and allowing myself to express my vulnerability to all of you: I have had one true girlfriend in my entire life. I clearly remember that the girl whom I was seeing at the time wanted to become intimate on an emotional level after the physical connection. How did I reply? I bailed. I was frightened. I had difficulties in expressing my emotions and feeling my feelings, having suppressed them throughout my childhood, teen, and early adult years, so how could I connect on the deepest level possible with a woman when I could not connect intimately with myself?
I was also fearful of all authority figures in various disguises, whether it be in the forms of my family, my former supervisors, all the way down to one of the co-hosts of my Monday Night Mayhem Radio Show. That's what my ego was wanting me to see and feel. In truth, I was actually afraid of my inner power, and that's how it was manifesting itself in the external realm. How many of us gulp when we even think of just how successful we can be at something. We may have been conditioned to believe that success was always out of our reach, so the mere notion of having a lot of power and using it for the highest and great good is a concept you cannot even fathom on a certain level.
I lived at home until 2012. During those present moments, my life was focused primarily on three things:
- My Radio Show, the aforementioned MNM
- Wrestling
- My job at the time: working in collections
I was pushed forward by the Universe, in the midst of the Dark Knight of the Soul, to move out and begin my new life...at the age of 30.
Feel free to respond or react however you wish. I no longer judge myself on any of this, individually or collectively, as I release the need to beat up the pure divine spark of love that I am and will always be. I have put out the intention of forgiveness for any person or event that I felt hurt me in any way, for all generations and lifetimes, while also knowing that everything happened in perfect divine order. All happened then as it should...just as that is the case right now.
For the past 2+ years, I have been seeing my own family in my mind's eye, the one that I am co-creating with God, coming closer and closer to me. Several months ago, my son's name was downloaded during meditation. I was seeing more profound visions of living in California (San Diego and Los Angeles), traveling all around the world (with specific destinations of Okinawa, Prague, Africa, Hawaii, and Paris even showing themselves), speaking, teaching, the release of my book, and helping, healing, inspiring, and serving humanity in ways that I cannot even describe.
The energy that was being shown to me, that I was feeling in every pore and cell of my being, told me that I was going to be having many commitments and responsibilities, in addition to tapping into power within me that I had no idea was present. On the surface, any person would want to run away from that. I used to think that way. On one's awakening, you come to acceptance with the fact that you cannot go back. You cannot run from your genius. You cannot run away from your love. You cannot run away from what God, your angels, and the Universe have planned for you. I was starting to realize more and more than my soul was telling me that I was ready.
Many of us lightworkers and empaths have at one point (or many) told the Universe those exact words, "I'm ready," thinking that everything is magically going to happen like a spiritual fairy tale, that Archangel Michael would deliver a heavenly golden ticket, and soon you would be experiencing a soulful version of Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. If only it would be THAT easy.
It involves putting out energy of love. It involves dedication. It involves believing in yourself and trusting the Divine. It means operating your life knowing that your wishes have already been fulfilled. And that's not just a Wayne Dyer-ism. It means being willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen in the world of form, while simultaneously letting God and divine timing do their part. And yes, it means dwelling in gratitude and humility while your moving is unfolding, frame-by-frame.
I have out an intention to the Universe, for the first time in my entire life (at least this lifetime anyway), that I am taking responsibility for all of my actions, for all of my decisions, for everything, and I will continue to navigate my time here on Earth School coming from that space.
The parable in the Bible best explains what I'm trying to convey, a beautiful image that has been one of the biggest life lesson I have learned this year to date: "Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he eats for a lifetime."
You can without a doubt rely on God to co-create your journey with you. But, the only person that you can rely on is yourself. Healing and success are all a matter of turning inward. You can have the best intuitive healer, spiritual teacher, life coach, therapist, and/or all of the above on your team. You can have have people feeding your ego, whether it enabling you financially, emotionally, physically, and/or even spiritually. At the end of the day, you don't see those people in the mirror. Any of them. The only reflection that you see is yourself.
Something within me, a force, if you will, was showing me that there were just a sprinkling of remaining lessons to be learned on this leg of my journey, very important ones, which would allow that very abundance that has been trying to come into my life (that I actually blocking through my own self-perceived limitations, fears, and doubts) to flow into me, to attach to my DNA, and transform my being and my life to something that can only be described as if you merged the life of a prince or knight, with your favorite Disney character, with a helping of spiritual magic. And that once I learned the lessons, the abundance would be cascading, like a waterfall, into my life. Welcome to the New Moon in the sign of Aquarius, the water bearer.
CPR is what saves your life if you stop breathing or if your heart stops beating. I am not giving up, nor do I plan to...ever. Most people give up right before their miracle happens. Not me. It's not a coincidence that the first letters of "commitment," "power," and "responsibility" are C, P, and R. "Insert your humor here" was even scripted out by God and Spirit.
So yes Universe, I am no longer afraid of CPR. I am now circulating new energy into my life and breathing new life into my soul. I still surrender the rest to you, but I have a pretty good feeling (complete with a smile on my face from ear-to-ear as I press "publish" on this blog post), that my dreams are now closer than ever before. In truth, they are already here. They are my reality.
Ahhh yes, the Aha! Moments that come to you during a surrender are truly life-changing. Just don't forget to breathe along the way and remember your CPR. Your commitment. Your power. And your responsibility.
With all the love I possess, I remain yours God.
Your humble and loving son,
John
No comments:
Post a Comment